I recently read a wonderful article entitled “Don’t be a butthole wife.” I apologize I do not remember the author's name, but the article was beautiful. The whole story was about how this woman’s first husband would leave dirty clothes laying around the house and how much that bothered the wife. The dirty laundry became a source of contention in her marriage, until her husband died unexpectedly. After his death she remarried and found picking up after her second husband a cherished act of service to someone that she loved. The act of cleaning up after her first husband was a cherished memory she was glad to repeat with her second husband.
I read the article. I teared up a bit. I loved it. I resolved to be a better, more understanding wife. I picked up socks and underwear with a better attitude. Then I became a bit angry, and somewhat sad. Now I don’t know how many fights were started, how miserable the wife made their home just because of a few dirty socks, but I started to think about how depressing this situation really was.
How many times did this wife ask him to please clean up after himself? How much of their precious time together was spent fighting over laundry? How many days could have been spent in harmony rather than dissent when these days were numbered?
These are the cherished memories that this man left behind? Now I’m sure there are other memories of family trips and fun, but this is the wonderful treasured moment that this woman clung to? What does that say about this man? That instead of spending two minutes to create harmony in the household he just refused to help and that’s what his wife remembers?
If the tables were turned, and the wife had died suddenly, and her husband was stuck finally having to clean up after himself, how guilty would he feel for making her pick up after him day after day even though she hated it.
Now we all know that this man that died was a wonderful husband and father, and sacrificed every day for his wife and children. But just because he could not spend a couple of minutes every day picking up after himself, his widow considers cleaning his dirty laundry to be one of the best memories she has. This doesn’t seem right to me. This doesn’t seem like a legacy that any man wants to leave behind.
Now some women may be a little too OCD. The man is not the only source of conflict. They may pick fights over dumb things. One of the essential parts of marriage is service. Knowing that your spouse is tired and helping them out even when it’s hard to bite your tongue. But should it be one of the favorite things you remember about your partner? And make that act of service extra special to your next marriage? I don’t think so. Sacrificing should not be one sided.
Men, just pick up your socks. Don’t let the best memories that you leave behind be picking up your dirty underwear off the floor. Don’t leave your wife with that. Make the memories that you leave behind happy ones of vacations and family dinners and tickle fights on the bed. Just pick it up. Spend that two minutes making your wife happy. It’s not hard. And the memories you leave behind will mean so much more to your loved ones. 
My hubby and daughter in the backyard, where we make many happy memories.
